The Terror of the Seas

What's your poison?
The Episode Where We All Take Turns Dancing With the Reaper

Feb 13, 2018 – “What’s your poison? The Episode Where We All Take Turns Dancing With the Reaper …”

Attendees: DMHC, Big Chief Hooy (Kanye the Giant), Earl of Sweetman County (Quinn), Duke Punshon (Katt), Lord Fowlie (Sven – present only momentarily), and Tzar Lenz (Masahiro) (your humble scribe).
Location: Duke Punshon’s abode in Stonebridgeshire

- We pick up the action in the dark of early night. The devil-tainted wyvern has taken 15 damage to this point, which may as well be a nail trimming. Katt had stuck a light spell to its leg during the last meeting, so at least we are not fighting in the dark.
- Masa is in Stage 1 Con poisoning as we begin the action but manages to roll a confirmed natch 20 to take care of the requirement for “2 consecutive saves” in one fell swoop! Quinn taps the fighter with a “Restoration, Lester” spell, and Masa is back to normal [Death by Poison Escape #1].
- The suddenly-appearing Kanye the Giant takes one look at the big wyvern circling above and bravely runs for the hills. A newly-arrived Quinn resists the fear effect of the great beast, but that doesn’t stop the ‘Vern from swooping in and planting that barbed tail between Quinn’s shoulder blades. Quinn fails to make the steep DC17 Fort save to resist it, but doesn’t seem nearly concerned enough about this. Player Sweetman isn’t aware of the virulent poison rules we play by here. He will learn before all is over. Masa knows and palms his last vial of Antitoxin to the cleric to chug back, giving him a +5 on his Fort saves vs. poison for an hour. Quinn fails his next save, taking him to stage 2 (-4 on Fort saves), and soon goes to Stage 3. Let it be known that Stage 3 is the one where if you do any standard action, you fall unconscious at -1 hp. Fortunately, Katt has a Restoration, Lester handy and casts it on the Mighty Quinn (you’ve not seen nothing like him), bringing him back up to Stage 1. With a couple of good rolls, Quinn is out of the woods [Death by Poison Escape #2]. And then he gets bitten for 15 damage or whatever.
- Poison abhors a vacuum, and soon, Masa has been pumped to the teets with Wyvern-tail poison again. Fort save: Failed. Stage 1. This bodes not real good.
- Sven manages to get off a successful minishortbow attack, pecking away at this MF’s health – everything counts! And then suddenly, Sven is nowhere to be seen, his player having to depart unexpectedly. And then there were four…
- Katt’s eagle and Air elemental harry their quarry like a wig, scratching and slamming for a 3 dam here, a 6 dam there, a 4 dam way over there… The toll is being taken.
- Masa makes one Fort save but fails his next. Stage 2 poisoning. Tzar Lenz does the maths: Stage 2 gives -4 on Fort Saves, so that DC17 poison becomes effectively DC21. His Fort bonus is +6. He needs to roll 15s. He has to make two saves IN A ROW to stop the progression. There are no more Antitoxin vials. No more “Restoration, Lester” spells. No Epic points. The Grim Reaper is sitting on a nearby rock packing Old Toby into a pipe as he watches to see where this goes.
- New Wyvern Attacktic: grab the little guy, fly into the thin air, and drop him. Supposedly, it’s all the rage among Wyrmkind in 110 After. The grab is made on Kanye the Giant, but that leaves the beast as a sitting target for the rest of us. Masa makes a Fort save (!!), rushes in to flank and gets a couple of sizeable hits in on the Wyvern’s noggin. Amazingly, the ‘Vern rolls a natch 1 on its check to maintain grapple on Kanye, so it gives up that plan and attempts to flee into the air. Attacks of opportunity ensue: Katt’s eagle lands a claw, Katt’s Air Elemental wallops it with an air biscuit, Masa gives it a smoot with his dire hurayru, and the halfling runs his rapier to the hilt into the wyvern’s eye. Dead!
- Masa tries to cheer his new tagline “Take that” to the wyvern corpse, but it only comes out as “Taeeke… oh hwuck…” Fails his Fort save with a natch 1 – the crits strike both ways. Masa falls to stage 4 – unconsciousness.
- The Grim Reaper is drawing smoothly on his pipe by now and stands up off his rock, picking up that huge scythe and removing the figureskating blade guard he’s been using for blade protection since he lost his black leather one.
- Okay, shat just got realz. Super-fortunately, the wyvern is dead, so we can focus on stopping Masa from dying for a mo, and we scour our character sheets and cards, looking for ANYTHING that might help. Nothing appears.
- Masa has a 6.25% chance of survival as it stands. We have found nothing useful on our character sheets to improve these odds. The Reaper is set up at the side doing practice swings like Lee Trevino on the 1st tee at Augusta.
- Staring death into its cavernous eyes has a way of making people dig a wee bit deeper. “Hey!!!! What about using the Heal Skill!!??” Tzar Lenz trumpets. We look it up – shit, bruthaaa!!! A successful DC15 Heal check gives the person a +4 on their saves!! Katt gets to work, using a Healer’s kit to add 2 to his Heal check – Makes it!!
“Hey guys, what about the spell Virtue?” Quinn offers.
“Nope, that’s just hit points.”
“How about … Resistance?” Quinn persists
“Frick yeah, Earl!! Yes, that gives +1s on Saving Throws!”. Quinn casts it.

- It’s time for Masahiro to roll a Fort save. He needs to roll a “10” or he goes to Stage 5: DEAD dead!! And he needs to make TWO consecutive saves. The odds of survival have “swelled” to 25% with the discovery of the Heal check and the Resistance spell. The Reaper has his blade-on-a-stick cocked back like Sammy Sosa as Tzar Lenz rolls the dice: 12!!! First bullet dodged.
- Let’s do this all over again one more time. Kanye deep throats the unconscious Masa with a Cure Light Wounds potion, which helps with the hit points (-7 before the poshe – you can die from that, too!), and Katt goes to do his heal check with Quinn’s help… natch 1. Oh that’s bad. But Katt is the one person at the table who has 1 epic point remaining, stashed away for a rainy day. Well, it’s motherfuckin’ pourin’!!! Scratch goes the Epic point, and the reroll is a 17!! which gives Masa that +4 to his check
- And so it all comes down to one final roll for all the marbles. Tzar Lenz needs another roll of 10 to live. If he doesn’t make it, Masa is dead. No safety nets. Tzar picks up his really-not-that-trusty gunmetal d20 and exhales… The Reaper has climbed up onto the top rope turnbuckle, scythe drawn back over his head … the roll…


Did that just fucking happen?!? That spiking blood pressure we players are feeling won’t subside for hours. Sure, Masahiro is still a pile of unconscious flesh at this moment, but he’s bounced off that rock bottom, and he’s on his way back up, bitches!! [Death by Poison Escape #3]

- “Um guys? There are a whole bunch of flying lights in the sky heading our way. Should we, uh, maybe put that light out on the wyvern’s leg?” Katt is back on the job. Kanye spies a cave nearby as he tries and fails to salvage some of that wyvern poison, and all quickly take shelter inside. The lights o’erhead are a flying ship, of course, piloted by a big devil. We manage to evade their notice as they fly past but not the notice of the self-proclaimed owner of this cave – Mr. Ogre. Fortunately, he’s more of a “Wall St. Ogre” than a “Face-Punch St. Ogre” and we “rent” a spot in his cave for the night for a 50gp payout. VERY worth it.
- We sleep gloriously for two 4-hour shifts. Masa recovers two steps on the poison chart under the longterm care of Quinn and Katt and is healed back to full hitpoints by the two clerics’ Channel Energies and Cure Moderate Wounds spells. Masa awakens feeling like a new man!
- And then we’re under attack inside our cave. Do we have a “Kick me” sign on our backs? Caught without armour on, Masa and Katt are viciously battered by 4 bugbears with fat morningstars. Within two turns, Katt is at -6hp (the Grim Reaper pops his head up to peer inside our cave – that guy’s like bedbugs!), and Masa is down to 7 from 38. Quinn releases a wave of healing energy (Channel energy) that heals everyone 10hp (yes, including the bugbears), popping Katt back to the plus side. Kanye has seen what poison can do and uses his quickrunner’s shirt for an extra move to put some Large Scorpion venom on his sticker, rush in, poke, and retreat. That bugbear starts weakening fast under its effects. Masa steps back 5 feet and quickly dons his Ghost Image cloak and roars like a Kraken, causing the bugbears to go a bit weak at the knees and giving us the light we need to fight. We trade some blows, but it’s the newly-revived Katt who breaks this one open by casting Murderous Command on one of the monsters. It fails its save, causing it to attack its ally, rolling a natch 20 in the process! The bugbear who got whacked returns the morningstar-shaped favour, killing the first guy in the process. Between Masa and Kanye’s flanking attacks and Quinn’s Spiritual Weapon spell, we finally finish these dogs off.
- A master of timing, the Ogre landlord pokes his head into our room just as all the fighting is done and questions why we’ve brought a bunch of dogs into his cave.
- The Grim Reaper seems a bit annoyed that we’ve once again escaped his clutches, but he takes some solace in his bugbear and wyvern harvest for the night. More to come, buddy. More to come.
- We leave the action at 4am. Quinn and Katt still need 4 more hours of sleep, but Kanye and Masa have had their 8 already. This turned out to be a good night to have two clerics in our ranks!

A Walk in the Woods

Well, here we are, wandering along some Gods forsaken path in the forest, joining some fellow crew members who are out adventuring off boat, still delivering “sweaters”. We pass a bunch of Gnomes who seem suspiciously aware of the exact location of our boat… stupid gnomes.

Rejoined, our group resumes the path, present are Masahiro, Katt, Ishmael (surprisingly finished with the bilges for the moment), and yours truly, the handsome, almost mostly human goblin Sven.
Before long the path opens up and we see and hear a melee up ahead. It would appear that some humans are pestering some presumably innocent Ogres, who are hiding behind a ramshackle defensive position that appears to be built from some sort of siege weaponry. The rest of the party seems to think that the Humans are the ones who need saving, and we’re nothing if not democratic (when the Skipper’s not around), so death to the Ogres! The group takes a moment to apply some poison to various pointy implements and then sets off.
The group disperses, with Masa moving to flank, Sven advancing through the bushes, Katt and Ishmael advancing up the path. Ishmael strikes first, with a gesture, the vegetation under the humans and Ogres comes to life, entangling the humans and Ogres. Katt strikes next, launching an icicle into one of the Ogres. Sven continues sneaking up the flank, but unknowingly stumbles into the entangle spell, his tiny legs getting wrapped up by the implausibly strong vines and trees nearby. Masa draws his short bow and looses an arrow at one of the Ogres, but misses. Kat launches another icicle scoring an icy wound on one of the Ogres. Masa takes more careful aim with his next arrow, and does his ancestors proud, finding a gap in the Ogre’s armour.
Sven, trapped in the grass, digs into his pack and pulls out a fuse grenade and lights it. Ishmael, not to be outdone pulls out a grenade of his own and tosses it at the Ogres. One of the Ogres manages to break free from his vegetative grapple and tries to circle around the barricade, while the other Ogre breaks his binds and climbs up onto the barricade.
Sven tosses his lit grenade, grateful that it has not yet exploded. The grenade lands behind the Ogres.
Now that the Ogres are free, Ishmael decides to dismiss his entangle spell, draws his poisoned gaffe, uses his innate Ranger focus and and swings at one of the Ogres. He strikes the beast critically, cutting deep, and applying the poison to the monster’s bloodstream.
One of the humans, with more guts than sense, picks up a rock and tosses it at one of the Ogres, cracking it weakly in the skull. Sven is almost distracted by the sounds of skittering, flapping wings behind him. One of the Ogres advances through the bushes towards Katt and Masa. The monster raises his club, but catches a vine as he swings it, tripping to the ground in front of him. Masa uses the Opportunity to strike the beast hard with this Dire Flail. The other Ogre swings out towards Ishmael, smashing the ranger hard with his impressive club. The melee continues, the humans trying weakly to attack the Ogres, and one of them falling to an impressive swing by the mighty Ogre on the other side of the barricade. After one of the attempt fails, the Ogre trips on his back. Sven sees the opportunity and climbs up on the barricade, and leaps with great panache at the Ogre and stabs it with his poisoned Rapier.
Masa stands tall and swings away with his Dire Frairu and lays waste with multiple strikes on the prone Ogre, slaying the monster.
Ishmael climbs the barricade, but misses the Ogre. The Ogre under Sven tries to get up, drawing opportunity attacks from Sven and Ishmael, Ishmael’s strike is true, and kills the monster. The kill is punctuated by the fuse grenade detonating, fortunately not harming any of the ‘good guys’. While Sven loots the Ogre, the Stirges, drawn from Ishmael’s earlier grenade toss arrive, and latch on to the humans, one of which succumbs to the rapid blood loss.
Katt and Ishmael strike at the stirges, eventually slaying them. When the dust settles, only one human is left standing, his other, fortunately blond comrade lies dead beside him. The party discovers that things are not going well in Etarin, the rebels have been pushed into a small corner of the city and will probably not last long against the onslaught from Arbuckle’s forces.
Sven sees an opportunity to harvest some fresh hair for his wig, and gets down to work on one of the corpses. The surviving human does not take kindly to this act, taking great offense to the goblin’s actions. He advances as if to attack, ,but Sven and his comrades attempt to change his mind using calm words and heavy half-orc slaps to the face. In the end Sven gave in and only chopped a little of the hair off, and the party left the man to his deceased comrades.
The sun is setting as the party travels further down the path. Before long, Ishmael spots a black wyvern-shaped shadow circling above. And before we can properly discern whether or not is has seen us, the beast swoops in to strike. The monster pulls up short and lets out it’s terrifying roar. Kat and Sven both feel their bowels loosen, and Kat books it, while Sven is left shocked and staring. Ishmael and Masa try to position themselves to swing at the Wyvern as it swoops by, but have little success. Sven eventually finds his legs and runs, before gathering himself and firing off an arrow at the Wyvern, which does little more than annoy the winged beast. Masa quaffs a potion and shockingly casts a spell at the Wyvern, a large stinking cloud erupts around the monster, but the beast manages to resist the noxious fumes, the wyvern however, is obscured from view behind the new cloud. Sven takes another shot blindly into the cloud and misses. When the beast flies out of the cloud and circles around for another bite, Kat seizes the opportunity, jumps up and slaps a spell onto the creature as it flies by. The Wyvern is suddenly glowing, a shining beacon in the night sky. Masa tries shooting an arrow at the bright cloud and misses, Sven is a bit luckier and strikes true with his tiny arrow. On another pass, Ishmael finds the mark with one of his gaffes. Kat starts summoning eagles to harass the wyvern. The first eagle chokes out of the cloud, but the next one resists. Kat then begins summoning an air elemental as the stinking cloud disperses. As the cloud parts, the glowing wyvern is clearly visible as it lashes out with its tail and connnects with Masa, causing some damage and pumping some poison into his veins…

Thru the Woods to Gramma's House-on-Fire

Jan 30, 2018 – “Thru the Woods to Gramma’s House-on-Fire”

Attendees: DMHC, Count Bob (Kee’ra), and Tzar Lenz (Masahiro) (your humble scribe).
Location: Count Bob’s in the Silver Marches (or Silverspring, or Silver-something)

Masa: “Hey! Where did everybody go? I could’ve sworn I was just taking down that devil-tainted wyvern with Oona, Quinn, Triggg, and Kanye the Giant, but now it’s just me… Oh, there’s that cooky witch, Kee’ra. Where did she come from? She looks just a bit different than the last time I saw her – like a couple of her items are different, like her Skills and Ability scores are just a taaaad off, like she just rolled up a new character sheet or something. Oh well, this is the new now.” Disbelief: Suspended.

Alrighty, we’re a third of the way to Edorin, and it’s noonish. Hey, maybe this new Kee’ra has some insight into the strange markings/tattoos on this dead wyverny thing lying here. She analyzes the glyphs and designs on the beast using her Tongues hex, consults her memory banks (she’s REALLY smart!), and declares that devils must have taken some lost souls from Hell and fused them into the body of this wyvern, causing it to alter magically and physically. Sounds like a shitty thing to do to a sapient being.

As the two adventurers stand in silence over the dead wyvern, its body having been made an unwitting vessel for some torturous diabolical transmogrification, Kee’ra asks if Masa would like to say a few words. Both bow their heads reverently, the stolid fighter nods and says, “Take that.” We move on.

On go the Caps of Human Guise, and the two suddenly look like gnomes. And talk like gnomes, or at least like people sucking helium from balloons. Masa is well aware that things are going to get messy up ahead, so he coats an arrow in one of the doses of that wyvern poison that Kanye helped milk last time. Neither adventurer can track worth a damn and manage to carve a pretty curvy line toward their destination.

They finally meet up with a group of refugees hiding in the woods, fleeing from the devastation of Edorin and the gaze of hunting wyverns. They tell of the horror that is befalling their city – some despot named Arbuckle is attacking the place, putting it to sword and flame. They suspect the town may have already fallen, with the resistance fighters pulling back into the ruins on Edorin’s outskirts. The leader of Edorin is named Celemon, and he lives in an inner walled keep – the refugees are unaware of his status. Kee’ra seems moved by their story (weird… I didn’t think she cared about anyone…) and not only lays down healing hexes on all 8 of them but also tells them to head to the Feena in the eastern harbour, where they can find succor.
“Uhmm… you mean, thru the haunted city?” asks one incredulous gift-horse-mouth-looker-inner.
“Yep! Just run fast thru there, preferably during the daytime. You’ll probably be fine,” Kee’ra assures. The heroes move on, leaving the Edorinese to scratch their recently-homeless heads.

A couple of hours of hard going later, Masa and Kee’ra crest the hill at the halfway point and see Edorin under siege in the distance. Plumes of smoke rise from the city, loud “booms” can occassionally be heard, and at least 3 wyverns can be seen circling far away. Undaunted, the two push on.

6pm, 5 klicks from the embattled city, rustling can be heard amongst the trees nearby. The fighter and witch take cover behind trees and notice a large ape-ish titanspawn sniffing out their location; it’s a Hill Howler. Kee’ra summons a horse to the opposite side of the beast, and Dancer charges in to land a buck to the chuck. The large primate gives horsey a good raking, but that just reveals its back for Masahiro to park a poisoned arrow in. Round after round, the Howler fails to make its save vs the deadly poison, and though it manages to dispatch the stallion into vapours, Kee’ra soon has it entangled in her web spell and Masa lobs another arrow into its spleen. After its 4th consecutive saving throw fail, it drops unconcho within the web, and one more round sees it dead. Wow! That poison is some nasty shit! They check out the corpse, but it has nothing on it. The two heroes are super-sure that there are NO tracks anywhere left by this creature to its lair where it might have swag. Definitely no tracks that ANYONE could ever find, nope. This area’s been fine-tooth-combed.

Soon after, more refugees are encountered hiding in the woods. Fully two-thirds of them are gnomes, so we ask them where to find the gnomes we’re looking for in Edorin – they say that the gnome resistance fighters have pulled back to the Northwest corner of the city.

Kee’ra generously offers the Feena as sanctuary to these 12 as well, and one elderly gnomish woman is so thankful that she gives Kee’ra a medallion that will give our team an automatic “in” with the gnomish resistance in Edorin. It’s close to getting dark, so the two adventurers are considering bedding down in the thicket with the refugees.

Masa imagines the reactions at the Feena when 20 refugees come running out of the haunted city ruin to take shelter onboard. “Hmm… maybe I should tell the asylum seekers to say, ’Kee’ra sent me.’”

Trying to get to the sweater sale
Hiking overland to Ederin

Jan 17, 2018 In Osler, the Barn
Scribe Triggg (Jo-Anne)
In attendance:
Kanye the Giant (Ryan)
Masa Hiro (John L)
Oona (Fina)
Quinn (Glen)
Chris B of course

The disguised Fina – our ship – is moored in a cove approximately 20km from the city of Ederin. We are here because we need to deliver the “sweaters” (gnome armor) to our gnomish contact in Ederin. Unfortunately the port at Ederin is heavily guarded by Arbuckle and his minions. There they go trying to control everything again. We want to collect for our cargo so we decide to take the overland route from across the island to the city. There is not much left of the town where we are moored. It is likely empty since the titan war. All we see is neglect and decay. We sleep aboard the ship and proceed to Ederin the following morning. We carry sweater samples with us.

The town is eerily quiet, no birds, no animals,…other than a big creature flying around the smoke that arises from the direction of Ederin, there is nothing around. That’s a lot of smoke! Perhaps Ederin is on fire! We start walking through the town. While passing by an old house, wouldn’t there just be two monster skulking by a window. Oona and I cast protective spells. Masa and Kanye stealthily walk forward. I scrabble up the hill Kanye is on. Masa tries for a sneak attack on the closest monster but the dead guy sees him and charges. While its distracted, Oona attacks and hits with her Lucerne hammer and then starts an inspirational song. Both monsters are clumsy and miss. I cast disrupt undead. Kanye and Masa get in the mix with success. Quinn channels bad zombie energy for 5 more damage. Kanye misses. Oona brings her milkshake and does tremendous damage. Number 2 dies…again. Zombie 1 tries to slam Masa again for 4 damage. . Masa kills him back, again. Ha! Someone steals the nice silver but tarnished chains around their necks and then we carry on. Soon after, those of us with amazing perception spot two big creatures flying in the haze of smoke. We get to the edge of of our little town and notice that a large flying creature is now about 5 km away. It might be a wyvern. 2km away it dives into the trees. Crazily, we go check it out. It lifts off with a load of humans and then drops its human cargo from far above. That’s got to hurt! The flying beasty spots us, changes directions, and comes at us quickly. Oona gives us shields of faith (+2 AC). She stands by a horse summoned by Quinn as bait and braces the milk churner. Kanye puts giant wasp poison on his rapier. Oona inspires courage. The flying monster wyverny thingy is very unusual looking, blue with black patterns…tatoos? markings? Its face is different…enhanced to look more evil. Yikes! Oona and I are afraid and start to run away. The others are braver and make a stand. The evil thing starts to dive towards the horse. Poor horse is grabbed and thrown by the nasty things stinking maw of the thing. Kanye holds until its closer, Masa misses, Quinn holds until its closer and then does a sound blast near black and blue. BnB keeps approaching. Oona and I keep running towards the trees. I finally come to my senses, turn around and return cautiously trying to keep hidden. Masa holds and waits to fight defensively. Kanye jumps masterfully into the air with his poison dagger stretched out front, swings and misses the evil one going up and coming down…so close. Quinn misses with a spell.
Oona misses. Kanye successfully jumps up and pokes the evil one in the bum. +13 damage. I launch my hand of apprentice. Quinn summons a small wind elemental. Evil one attacks Oona when she isn’t looking. Ouch. Masa misses. Kanye gets wacked by its tail. It flies by. It turns around midair and comes back. Masa taunts the evil one. Oona starts up a chant. Kanye puts poison on a dart. I summon another small air elemental. Evil one heals and circles. Quinn uses a virtual hammer wham bam and then heals the badly bleeding Oona. BnB swipes at Masa with his tail. I miss, Kanye hits. Masa gets hurt and chugs an antitoxin vial and gets +5 to fortitude. Quinn hits it with a spiritual hammer and heals Masa. Kanye gets ready to blow him (the evil thing that is) with a scorpion. Masa taunts some more. Quinn does some serious damage when the thing is flying away. Quinn cures Masa. Oona throws out stinking cloud and then gets swatted again from evil one. My air elemental gets in two solid hits as does my boomerang club. We continue to pick away at it.

Evil black and blue withdraws from the elementals and flies away. Kanye holds, Masa throws a long bomb and hits and kills the fucker. Good shot! We loot the nasty body and milk its poison. The evil one’s tattoos are from one of the hell planes, possibly one of the infernal abysmal planes. Kanye was able to harvest poison.

What's up with the Gnomes?

We continue to keep our eyes peeled for the Imp and the black box while we spend the day repairing the boat. Svenn and Triggg claim to have seen an Imp and start throwing around spells and potions to great success. 2 Imps! are glittered with the help of a windwall and some paint spatter.
Katt gets pickpocketed and the hit with his own itching powder, but makes his save. Many summoned eagles eventually take out Imp’s #2 and #3, but #1 (the pickpocket) continues to cause havoc. The sail gets set afire, but the fire gets frosted out.
Katt levitates to get a better view and angle while Kee’ra tries unsuccessfully to throw up a web. Katt commands to ‘NOT FLY" as Trigg lays on a coat of grease. The Imp plummets and ends up unconscious. Quinn stabalises and Kee’ra throws on the manacles of Cooperation. We loot the body and find:
a type 1 Bag of Holding
the (a) black box
alchemical fire
tanglefoot bag
and a potion of ???

The Imp heals quickly and we start the inquisition.
We learn:
there are about 12 Imps, most with boxes
Gnomes are the ones casting spells to make the big ship move
Quinn uses Diplomacy to determine who is in charge.
“Devil from the deep”
works with Arbuckle
Why are you hassling us? “Because you come to our port”
they (Arbuckle) trying to take over the city
other humans trying to take over Ederin
Why Balmath and Arbuckle? “I don’t know”

Balmath is one of the Silver Guys and also Captain of the Silver Ship. He’s never been seen in real form, just projection. (Evil Devil)
Where is he? “Arbuckle’s basement”
It is wet down there? “couple times” : )
Goal of Ederin attack? “talk of making Arbuckle King or Prince”
“stuff from portal to build weapons to take over the whole world”
Where is weapon? “Maybe Arbuckle’s basement or Ederin”
-bring stuff from portal to Ederin by magic boat
How many ships in Ederin? “don’t know, but there are 2 big fancy ships in blockade”

We heave to 20km away.
the 5×5×5 cargo is “sweaters” which are actually GNOME ARMOUR
WTF?? Gnomes only fight for Gnomes

Local Gnomes upset about system and are unlikely to ally with Nobles??

So I guess we gotta fix that too.

Here endeth the lesson

Strive to be Epic
A Dangerous Plan is Better than No Plan.

Night. Dark, Cold. A night time pleasure cruise is interrupted when Kanye the giant spots the shadowy outline of a Wyvern circling overhead. Before long Kanye spots two ships approaching from the direction of Etarin, one of the ships, as it turns out has a differently shaped sail than any the party have encountered in their extensive sailing careers. Arbuckle colours are spotted and the group forms a plan, they’ll draw them in using the slugworthy lame ‘normal wind sailing’,and once they’ve commited, hit the juice and escape, or separate them to allow for easier pilfering.
The strange boat is much larger than the other, and the Feena (Masabater?) and is made of metal. Once the other ships get closer, the larger strange sailed boat begins to lift out of the water, not unlike the Feena when she’s got a keel full of air elemental.

Strive to be Epic
-some sailor

New plan, because a dangerous plan is better than no plan. We’ll shoot the gap between the approaching ships, making pursuit much more difficult. As the distance closes, the more normal enemy ship opens fire with its ballista, thankfully missing badly. The Wyvern passes overhead and drops some burning cargo, but also misses our ship thankfully. Katt hits the juice about now, and the ship slams into motion, racing up to a nigh-impossible 105 knots, an acceleration brutal enough to knock out Sven and Kanye. As we race past the ironclad sea-blimp, Katt reaches out with his wand of Summon Monster and hits the enemy with a shot of air elemental to most of our confusion. Turns out his gambit was cleverly thought out, the elemental powered their boat much the same as the Feena and the ironclad immediately accelerated in the opposite direction, launching unprepared crewmembers overboard in the process. After the burn is complete we resume normal sailing some distance from the enemy ships, they don’t immediately give chase, presumably recovering their crewmembers and soiled smallclothes after witnessing our awesomeness. Well maybe just the former. Kanye wakes up and decides to check the mast for a black box, in the process he slips and falls. Thankfully his fall was arrested by Masa who absorbed some of the damage. We hit the gas again, hopefully forcing the opponents to show their hand and either give chase or give up. They do not disappoint and give chase. The Feena turns and launches their superior weapon: Sven. Kanye also launces from the mast. Kanye’s flight is interrupted when he hits a wall of wind, apparently summoned by a silver demon on the other boat. Masa lets loose with our ballista and strikes the demon, while Kanye’s recovery doesn’t go smoothly and he starts falling.
Sven strikes the wind wall, and is launched high in the air, loses control, but manages to find some control on the other side of the wall.
At this point Keera is unleashing her magics on the foes, launching many magic missiles at the silver demon, to varying effect. She also summoned an air elemental that tries to pick up a gnomish crewmember on the other ship, but it unfortunately not strong enough.
Meanwhile, Trig has reset the catapult and launched herself. The comely wizard launches through the air, escorted by two mirror images of herself. Trig manages to avoid the wind wall, tipped off by some unfortunate eagles who ran into it previously. Elementals attack, elementals summoned by Katt and Keera attack while summoned eagles also drop in at the demon. Keera points a finger at the silver demon, emitting a ray of energy that saps the strength of the Silver Demon.

Kanye manages some control over his descent, and launches a grenade at the silver demon, (set to explode in d3 rounds) fuse burning inconsistently. Kat casts spiritual weapon, a stunning [redacted] appears, and misses the foe.
Trig’s mirror image soaks up some arrows as she soars past. As the ship has approached to a near enough distance, Masa leaps for the other vessel, and barely makes it, hanging off the side.

As we leave the party for this session, Trig is soaring overhead, Masa clings to the side of the Arbuckle ship and Kanye’s grenade is burning away, set to blast at any given moment…

Dis-a-pier Weekend 2017
I hope Arbuckle can swim : )

Baron, running things as usual. Masssa, Kattt and Triggg playing (well).

We clear up some issues from the last meeting. Silver eggs are “large watermelon” sized. We do the Hard boiled egg spin test and determine that they are liquid inside – Massa’s idea. The dragon is not in the area.

We return to the scene of the sinking to do some salvage work. Massa polymorphs into squid and jets down to sinking boat to explore. He jettisons 2 barrels and collects 2 eggs and a metal crate wrapped in chain. Searches the captain’s quarters and finds a bag of coin. The foot locker is actually a trap door into a large space where he finds a small case. he grabs some clothes and heads for the surface.
The clothes turn out to be Delsameth Religious/ritual cloak.
The case holds a fancy dagger. we do some tests. it will cut. medium strength magic.
Detect evil – eggs, dagger and presence (likely the Imp)
Barrels are oak and contain good wine, no magical aura
The eggs are not magic
We formulate a plan… we trick the imp into coming close with enthusiastic discussion regarding fictitious awesomeness of something we found. it works. Triggg throws the glitter dust, the glistering imp squeals and drops black box and silver guy pops out. Battle ensues.
We notice the silver is a bit different… Buckler, fangs, big claws. Imp buggers off into box and we concentrate on silver. We think we have him, but he also buggers off into box. Says: “We are keeping an eye on you” before leaving.
As a big eff u to Arbuckle, we rig the box to open after we weight it and throw it overboard. Hopefully its currently flooding Arbuckle’s basement : )
We read the new charts:
3 months ago – Islands 800-900 E of Fang’s Fall via Ederon where eggs are found
Wyvern eggs requested by devils
Had 12 on boat. we have 7
Last entry – call from imp for assistance (us?)
hunt ships with wyvern assistance
Charts inscribed with “Wyvern Islands”

We head back to Fang’s Fall
40 south, we stop off and hide all but one (1) egg.
Disguise the boat with blue sails and rechristen “MASSA BETA” and fly flags as fishing vessel (also night and illusion)
We dock at the shitty dock and the harbour master leaves us alone.
We book it for Effin’s. Triggg sees invisibility to determine if we aer followed. we are not
Secret knock gets us in and we describe events to Effin. She summons Lord and Lady Pridane and a scholar.
Log books and chart are in Infernal
Offers 1000GP per egg, 5000GP for Ship #1 and 1000GP for charts. We take payment in Crowns (platinum hockey pucks)
Triggg rolls well and we get info on money exchangers “We have a guy” Gnome
We are informed that we have been framed for deaths of nobles and are being searched for…be careful
Effin’s mage casts disguise on us as we leave – decrepit merchants
We go buy stuff:
1 marker dye
25 sun rods
2 fuse grenades
2 itching powder
2 potions of stink bomb
4 caps of human disguise
touch up paint
we have 1900 left

We sleep on the boat and head out like good fisherfolk in our new disguise caps. We are all gnomes and sound great. Imp spots us a follows us along with a Fang’s Fall military ship.

We go fishing all day. Military ship buggers off after a few hours, but we keep fishing.
Triggg sees invisibility and spots the imp with a black box.
Trigg heads up to the crows-nest to “bird watch” which forces imp/box to the deck. Triggg jumps the imp from the top rope. Grand battle ensues with much grappling and spell throwing. we prevail. We rig the box again to hopefully flood Arbuckle’s basement.

Back to Fang’s Fall, the shitty part. We get a barrow and disguise the eggs with fish and after abribe or two, meet with Effin. Box has magic “Gentle Repose” seal to stop eggs from maturing.
Pridane coughs up 6000 for the eggs and 100 for the box
Effin’s scholars can’t figure out why they are meeting at portal so we have a new quest…
15000GP, 9000up front for information, where portal goes, if it even esists

we walk out with 17000 in cash

Next day, we buy:
Wand on Levitate
wand of summon monster II
supplies for crafting “monocle of seeing invisible things”

We attempt to establish spy network through the Gnome Guild at “Inn of the Gnome” we have mulled wine at 7am and bribe the innkeeper into the back room (we are notorious) where we meet with FISCHER. negotiate for transport of “sweaters” to Ederine for 500GP up front and 1500 on delivery.

The sweaters get delivered to the boat. We leave town with an imp and two military boats in trail. We sail normally (with levitate) to give ourselves 2 miles separation.
Imp uses sunrod just as Trigg glitter dusts it then fucks off towards military boats. We summon eagles to give chase then light up the keel a couple of times to get 170kts.

Thats the end of my notes.

Things get Rammy

Present are Kira, Katt, Sven, Masa, and introducing Ecclesia, a rogueish halfling who’s been hiding below decks until now.

We join our brave crew fresh off of their daring raid on Arbuckle’s ship with its formidable military escort. The crew decides to take it easy that night, sailing easily towards the SE so that our multi-talented cook can prepare some spells to help interpret the charts and logbook we liberated from Arbuckle’s ship.
White sails raised, the crew prowl the shipping lanes, Kira and Ecclesia spend some time painting the sails, they promise the final product will be quite amazing. The following morning Kat casts his comprehend languages spell and shares the understanding with Kira, letting the both of them interpret the charts and logbook. Some highlights from the chart are a giant hole— referred to as a portal, in the midle of the blood sea, a location loosely known by our crew to be many, many miles away, and the hole is 1500 nm within the blood sea. The logbook describes that the ship had made the long journey to the blood sea, and encountered many perils while within the blood sea, but was aided through many of them by the silver demons. Kat and Kira come up with the plan to copy the charts, making one of the copies into a slightly altered forgery in case we need to leave it somewhere to be discovered.
Later that evening, Kat decides to cast some detect evil to ensure that we don’t have any unwanted guests on board. As it turns out, some evil is detected above the main mast, he suspects another imp hovering above. The investigation is on: Ecclesia climbs to the very top of the crow’s nest and discovers an all too familiar black box hidden up there. Kat keeps a close watch on the location of the evil blip on her magical radar, and tracks it to a spot off of the stern of the vessel. Kat tries to fling a net at the spot, but it comes back empty. Kira tries some magic, and tries to cast some webs up into the rigging, but doesn’t manage to snag any pests.
Just as the crew is wrestling with how they might capture the imp, a sail is spotted on the horizon. Ecclesia draws the spyglass on to the contact and sees an unsettling large creature sitting on the mast, as well as Arbuckle colours.
The crew decides that misdirection is the key, and that the ship should be dealt with. One of the dinghy’s from the back of the ship is dropped into the water with a torch conspicuously burning on the back of it in order to give the opposing ship something to fix onto in the dark night. Sure enough, we see the great beast atop the other ship take wing and head out towards the dinghy. The plan is to sail around the back side of the Arbuckle vessel in order to make a move from an advantageous position. Kat summons an air elemental and fills the sails for an easy circle around the enemy vessel. From the aft quarter of the enemy ship a daring plan is formed. We will ram the enemy vessel, under best speed.
Best speed, as it turns out, is pretty f-ing fast in the case of the Feena. The sails already full, Kat summons a water elemental into the bilge, and another air elemental into the keel, turning the feena into a rip roaring high speed hovercraft.
Speed turned to maximum, the crew braces themselves, and Sven prepares to launch while forward velocity is maximized.
After a few dozen seconds, the elemental in the bilge wears out and the ship starts to slow. As we slow down to about 75 knots, Kat punches the jet elemental again and we race up to just shy of 120 knots.
A few seconds in to the burn and Sven launches. A few glorious terrifying seconds later, the ships collide. Feena barely holds together and the angle results in the Feena launching over the other ship cutting an angry swath through her exposing the ship’s holds to the salty seas.
The crew on the opposing ship loses their shit, and Sven drops onto the aft section after tossing a Stirge bomb at the sailors flipping out near the bow trying to keep their ship together. Ecclesia leaps from the mast and drops on to the bow of the enemy ship, she goes below looking for anything interesting that isn’t nailed down.
Ecclesia finds the log book and some shiny shiny gold, while Sven goes into the main hold and finds some strange, and distantly familiar silver eggs.
Meanwhile the beast that had flown from the mast returns. The Wyvern lands on the ship and engages Masa. They engage in brutal single combat, with the Wyvern grappling Masa in its fearsome jaws. Masa stuck in a very bad place, looks to his inventory for salvation. Huzzah, his hand emerges and he shoves it into the Wyvern’s maw. It emerges again among an awful stinking cloud. The beast can’t handle the cloud, drops Masa and begins to withdraw. Kat’s multiply summoned eagles appear and harass the Wyvern as it flees the site of the collision. Kat wastes no time, punches the elemental in the sail and the crew puts some distance between themselves and the site of the wreckage.

Let's settle this on the waves!
Take 'em unexpectedly from the stern

Attendees: DMHC, Jake Duke Punshon (Katt), Chris Lord Fowlie (Sven), Ryan Big Chief Hooyenga (Kanye the Giant), Joba the Marquis de Marcoux (Triggg), and John Tzar Lenz (your humble scribe) (Masahiro).
Location: Tzar’s Rearcastle

- If we’re being frank, we all just want to punch Arbuckle in the nose. And the idea to just barge into his basement and go down in a blaze of frickin’ glory does cross the table more than once until we get to the part where we imagine hitting one of those Silver Devils for a fist-pumping 6 damage only to have it hit back for 33. Anyone feel like rolling up new characters? Fine, we’ll use our heads …

- Let’s see what we can get out of that Imp; yeah, the one in the Manacular Co-op program. Masa and Kanye go in first to give him an easy option to spill the beans before we take it up a notch. He seems unmoved, leaving us with no choice – it’s time to bring in the Gimp!! The door squeaks open on hinges that could use a lube, silhouetting a form that has every scalp in the room quiverring . “Sweet Enkili in a 3-way!!” gasps Masa; “Alazay suppositories thru a blowgun!!” mums Kanye, hand involutarily rising to keep the last of his soul from being sucked out his wide-open mouth by the horror at the threshold. The Mighty Sven steps forward, each footfall a clanging chime of doom as the towheaded, walking neurosis draws ever nigh. “Well, punk… [sudden head twitch] … those are some nice … wings … you got there… would work well on the edges of a sanitary napkin…”

“Flee!” shouts the Imp, his words carrying the motivating prod of magic.

8 seconds later, Sven pops his head out from behind Katt’s armoured thigh, wondering how he can spin that hasty departure into something he intended. We not going to let him.

Okay, we just get down to questions and old-fashioned face-slapping interrogation and vaguely-worded promises of release in exchange for info; we learn some useful things. We find out that the Imps have been invisibly following us ever since the incident in the Merchant’s Guild, that there are a large number of these Imps, that they’re working for Arbuckle, and that the particular Silver Devil that handled the hit & stash operation of the Weolocs in our dingy was one named Tallos. Hmm. We decide we need our wizard to get learning a See Invisibility spell, which she does like a boss. Faerie Fire and Glitterdust also get successfully copied into her little book of spells; that gal’s on fire!

We find out from Lord Prydain’s clerics that the Weolocs cannot be resurrected because their souls are somehow bound. Dammit! We’re going to have to find another way to get money from these aristocrats. We feel the call of the brine and decide to get all piratey on Arbuckle’s ass. We attempt to quietly slip out of our harbour unnoticed around 9pm under the covering mistress of night but accidentally drop 13 frying pans onto a marching band dressed in full plate armour. A ghost from the times before the Titan war jolts upright at the racket, rubbing its ethereal eyes as it gazes out above the soil for the first time in over a century, “Hmm… looks like the Feena is leaving harbour.” So much for stealth.

We eventually park it about 10 klicks south of Fangsfall and wait for Arbuckle flies to wander into our web. We don’t have to wait long as what should appear heading toward FF but a 90-footer flying the R-Buckle. Unfortunately, there happens to be a 2-ship military escort leading our mark home, but we think we can work around that with a bit o’ Elemental Fury between the sheets. Trigg points her wand and utters, “Air Elemental! To the Main! Water Elemental! To the Sump!”

The merchant ship’s lookout in the crowsnest finally sees us and shouts, “Pi-”

Like a Saturn V rocket, the water elemental in the sump takes us from “making good way at 7 knots” to “making Get-the-fuck-out-of-the way!! at 37 knots,” bringing us very smartly to the stern of the merchant ship.


During our 18-second burn, we manage to fling Sven into the air, though he struggles to get his suit to handle the Gs of the sling plus the kidney-flattening acceleration of the Feena – he’s really cruising! He spirals and weaves his way to splat against the mainsail of the merchant ship like a gummy worm flung against a window before sliding down to the main deck. Kanye and Triggg take a step of faith off the crowsnest and float their way onto the enemy deck with much more aplomb, or with much more a-bomb, as Trigg drops a thunderstone on the forecastle to create more confusion and distraction below. The 3 diminuitive adventurers all make haste below deck, where Kanye gets his wee mitts on the boat’s ledgers, charts, and manifests. “Got it!!” he cries, and our retreat is in full order. By this time, Katt and Masa have gotten on deck Arbuckle’s vessel, and the guards are starting to get their shit together to try to deal with us. Someone lights one of the guards on fire, and we all make the easy-peasy leap over the rail back onto the Feena. Sploosh! Piper down! Turns out Katt belied her name and hooked a toe on the railing as she tried her hop, dropping herself into the drink. We throw down ropes while Triggg decides to keep the guards on the other ship distracted by tossing a Sturge bomb onto their deck – it’s nice to have those bloated bloodsuckers working for us for a change. Katt manages to dust herself with that dust of water walking and runs as fast as her legs will take her to catch up to our ship. Masa hauls her ass back aboard, we flip a U-ey, and hit the afterburners into the Southerly headwind, leaving a startled merchant ship and two military escorts standing there scratching their heads … “The fuck?”

Finding out who our friends are
the frog is chatty

August 21st, 2017 out back on the deck
Present this day of DM high Seas featuring Chris B
Kira the Witch (Bob)
Masahiro the human Fighter (John L)
Quinn half-elf Cleric , chaotic good (Glen)
Kanye the giant Halfling (Ryan)
Triggg the gnome Wizard (Jo-Anne)

Recited a la Kermit the frog
We are in the guildhall with various captains. There is a stunned silence when the silver guy was released from the black box. We effortlessly dispatch the demon projection…really. Hopefully now the captains will believe us about Arbuckle, his con game and his quest for ultimate power. Captain Bevno finally grasps the direness of the situation and promises to spread the word about the ship tainting scam. Trigg suggests that Arbuckle should die quickly before he can be elected as a lord of the town. Kanye wholeheartedly agrees. He starts cracking his knuckles and salivating. Most of the captains in the guild appear too afraid to act. Kira charms the different small groups and encourages their self-righteousness. They get angry!

Since we heard that two of Arbuckle’s political opponents have disappeared, we are worried about the Fina and decide to move and disguise her. Likely Marcus has given a full report to Arbuckle by now. Bevno agrees to do it for us.

Its 10pm, we go back to Lady Effin’s place and let ourselves in the back door. She joins us despite the lateness of the hour and tells us that she went to investigate the house of the lady and lord Welluck who were abducted. Apparently they disappeared from the library soon after a large silver demon went in after them. Some of their servants were killed. We walk over with Effin and her guards to see for ourselves. Still in disguise we check out the house. The gate is in place but the main entrance is destroyed. The door looks like it was hit by lightning. There are still wards on the back door and windows. The survivors are shaken up but they think they may have seen stirges. They saw a silver creature go into the library but the only thing left in there are odd scorch marks on the floor.

Effin reveals the nobles opposed to Arbuckle; Lord and Lady Prydain (major nobles), Lady Ylaria, Lord and Lady Westhall and lord Fanzeller. We suggest to Lady Effin that she should send a message to her allies and suggest to them to come here tonight for their protection and as a show of strength. Its doubtful any of them will venture anywhere at this time of night so we take the opportunity to rest up. That is, everyone except Kanye. Kanye is still amped up and ready to rumble so he goes out to the market to pick up more loot for the team. He gets Triggg a masterworks club, a faeryfire scroll and glitterdust scroll. She wakes early to memorize the new scrolls.
Kira woos the kitchen staff…they share recipes.

The lords and ladies start arriving at the break of dawn. Hors d’ oeuvres are served before breakfast. During the night the servants washed our clothes and shined our weapons in the hopes we would fit in a little better amongst the nobility. It doesn’t work. Other than smelling better and Triggg’s fabulous hair, we still look a bunch of delinquent scoundrels…but in a good way. We are seated at designated spots around a huge table. Lady Effin gives a toast to the missing Wellucks and explains our presence. Kira explains Arbuckle’s dastardly deeds. She says ominously that he is a cleric of Belsameth. We all take turns describing how Arbuckle is swindling the whole town. Finally after much discussion, both groups retreat to their corner. We decide what we want to do…make money, kill Arbuckle, stay alive. Upon getting together again the lords and ladies summarise their position and say “We are concerned about the Wellocks and want them back, 2nd we want to enhance the safety of our homes 3rd we want to give monetary support to you to bring Arbuckle down. Awesome! We are suddenly much more interested in getting involved and decide to help!

They give us 10000gp up front and promise 10000gp if we are successful in bringing back the Wellucks alive. They suggest using Scribe location to find them and think we should take over one of Arbuckle’s ships, (quietly). We also get 5000gp for any tidbit of information we might learn.
We go shopping and use the advance for armor for Masa, another set of manacles, a bunch of scrolls, masterworks flail, dagger etc.

In the evening we set out with Effin to enlist the help of a scryer. We are given an object which will allow us to see the Wellocks. Effin sends a female warrior-Blanche to go with us. We’re not sure what to make of Blanche and wonder if she is a sincere ally or simply a golden girl. We follow the Wellock compass. The arrow points towards the crappy docks and once we get there we find it’s pointing at our boat. The arrow even points to our dinghy attached to the side. Looking inside they appear empty until I cast fairy fire. Two bodies become visible. Kira tries to heal them but they are doorknob dead. It’s the Wellucks. We haul their invisible bodies back to Effin’s place. A few townies are wandering about. In the streets, an evil giggle precedes the return to visibility of the 2 bodies we are carrying. We see an imp sitting on a 2nd story ledge laughing at us. The Imp then casts fireworks. So much for being inconspicuous! We trap the imp. I cast a mist to cover our tracks. Quinn Blanche and I drag the bodies to the nearest temple. For some strange reason Kira slaps Kanye…something about timing and being impatient. We get to the temple of Enkili and ask for help. We make sure the imp is well secured. The temple people are shocked that we have a manacled imp in our possession and two dead bodies. With the help of the priests, we manage to get to Effin’s place unmolested.
Lady Effin is saddened by the death of the Wellucks (no 10000gp extra for us). We suggest a resurrection spell. Blanche’s lord Pridain shows up worried about who knows what and who saw what and who knows why and who know him. He’s a bit of a worrier. He agrees to hire a cleric to do a resurrection spell. We wait for the cleric.


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