The Terror of the Seas

Let's settle this on the waves!
Take 'em unexpectedly from the stern

Attendees: DMHC, Jake Duke Punshon (Katt), Chris Lord Fowlie (Sven), Ryan Big Chief Hooyenga (Kanye the Giant), Joba the Marquis de Marcoux (Triggg), and John Tzar Lenz (your humble scribe) (Masahiro).
Location: Tzar’s Rearcastle

- If we’re being frank, we all just want to punch Arbuckle in the nose. And the idea to just barge into his basement and go down in a blaze of frickin’ glory does cross the table more than once until we get to the part where we imagine hitting one of those Silver Devils for a fist-pumping 6 damage only to have it hit back for 33. Anyone feel like rolling up new characters? Fine, we’ll use our heads …

- Let’s see what we can get out of that Imp; yeah, the one in the Manacular Co-op program. Masa and Kanye go in first to give him an easy option to spill the beans before we take it up a notch. He seems unmoved, leaving us with no choice – it’s time to bring in the Gimp!! The door squeaks open on hinges that could use a lube, silhouetting a form that has every scalp in the room quiverring . “Sweet Enkili in a 3-way!!” gasps Masa; “Alazay suppositories thru a blowgun!!” mums Kanye, hand involutarily rising to keep the last of his soul from being sucked out his wide-open mouth by the horror at the threshold. The Mighty Sven steps forward, each footfall a clanging chime of doom as the towheaded, walking neurosis draws ever nigh. “Well, punk… [sudden head twitch] … those are some nice … wings … you got there… would work well on the edges of a sanitary napkin…”

“Flee!” shouts the Imp, his words carrying the motivating prod of magic.

8 seconds later, Sven pops his head out from behind Katt’s armoured thigh, wondering how he can spin that hasty departure into something he intended. We not going to let him.

Okay, we just get down to questions and old-fashioned face-slapping interrogation and vaguely-worded promises of release in exchange for info; we learn some useful things. We find out that the Imps have been invisibly following us ever since the incident in the Merchant’s Guild, that there are a large number of these Imps, that they’re working for Arbuckle, and that the particular Silver Devil that handled the hit & stash operation of the Weolocs in our dingy was one named Tallos. Hmm. We decide we need our wizard to get learning a See Invisibility spell, which she does like a boss. Faerie Fire and Glitterdust also get successfully copied into her little book of spells; that gal’s on fire!

We find out from Lord Prydain’s clerics that the Weolocs cannot be resurrected because their souls are somehow bound. Dammit! We’re going to have to find another way to get money from these aristocrats. We feel the call of the brine and decide to get all piratey on Arbuckle’s ass. We attempt to quietly slip out of our harbour unnoticed around 9pm under the covering mistress of night but accidentally drop 13 frying pans onto a marching band dressed in full plate armour. A ghost from the times before the Titan war jolts upright at the racket, rubbing its ethereal eyes as it gazes out above the soil for the first time in over a century, “Hmm… looks like the Feena is leaving harbour.” So much for stealth.

We eventually park it about 10 klicks south of Fangsfall and wait for Arbuckle flies to wander into our web. We don’t have to wait long as what should appear heading toward FF but a 90-footer flying the R-Buckle. Unfortunately, there happens to be a 2-ship military escort leading our mark home, but we think we can work around that with a bit o’ Elemental Fury between the sheets. Trigg points her wand and utters, “Air Elemental! To the Main! Water Elemental! To the Sump!”

The merchant ship’s lookout in the crowsnest finally sees us and shouts, “Pi-”

Like a Saturn V rocket, the water elemental in the sump takes us from “making good way at 7 knots” to “making Get-the-fuck-out-of-the way!! at 37 knots,” bringing us very smartly to the stern of the merchant ship.


During our 18-second burn, we manage to fling Sven into the air, though he struggles to get his suit to handle the Gs of the sling plus the kidney-flattening acceleration of the Feena – he’s really cruising! He spirals and weaves his way to splat against the mainsail of the merchant ship like a gummy worm flung against a window before sliding down to the main deck. Kanye and Triggg take a step of faith off the crowsnest and float their way onto the enemy deck with much more aplomb, or with much more a-bomb, as Trigg drops a thunderstone on the forecastle to create more confusion and distraction below. The 3 diminuitive adventurers all make haste below deck, where Kanye gets his wee mitts on the boat’s ledgers, charts, and manifests. “Got it!!” he cries, and our retreat is in full order. By this time, Katt and Masa have gotten on deck Arbuckle’s vessel, and the guards are starting to get their shit together to try to deal with us. Someone lights one of the guards on fire, and we all make the easy-peasy leap over the rail back onto the Feena. Sploosh! Piper down! Turns out Katt belied her name and hooked a toe on the railing as she tried her hop, dropping herself into the drink. We throw down ropes while Triggg decides to keep the guards on the other ship distracted by tossing a Sturge bomb onto their deck – it’s nice to have those bloated bloodsuckers working for us for a change. Katt manages to dust herself with that dust of water walking and runs as fast as her legs will take her to catch up to our ship. Masa hauls her ass back aboard, we flip a U-ey, and hit the afterburners into the Southerly headwind, leaving a startled merchant ship and two military escorts standing there scratching their heads … “The fuck?”

Finding out who our friends are
the frog is chatty

August 21st, 2017 out back on the deck
Present this day of DM high Seas featuring Chris B
Kira the Witch (Bob)
Masahiro the human Fighter (John L)
Quinn half-elf Cleric , chaotic good (Glen)
Kanye the giant Halfling (Ryan)
Triggg the gnome Wizard (Jo-Anne)

Recited a la Kermit the frog
We are in the guildhall with various captains. There is a stunned silence when the silver guy was released from the black box. We effortlessly dispatch the demon projection…really. Hopefully now the captains will believe us about Arbuckle, his con game and his quest for ultimate power. Captain Bevno finally grasps the direness of the situation and promises to spread the word about the ship tainting scam. Trigg suggests that Arbuckle should die quickly before he can be elected as a lord of the town. Kanye wholeheartedly agrees. He starts cracking his knuckles and salivating. Most of the captains in the guild appear too afraid to act. Kira charms the different small groups and encourages their self-righteousness. They get angry!

Since we heard that two of Arbuckle’s political opponents have disappeared, we are worried about the Fina and decide to move and disguise her. Likely Marcus has given a full report to Arbuckle by now. Bevno agrees to do it for us.

Its 10pm, we go back to Lady Effin’s place and let ourselves in the back door. She joins us despite the lateness of the hour and tells us that she went to investigate the house of the lady and lord Welluck who were abducted. Apparently they disappeared from the library soon after a large silver demon went in after them. Some of their servants were killed. We walk over with Effin and her guards to see for ourselves. Still in disguise we check out the house. The gate is in place but the main entrance is destroyed. The door looks like it was hit by lightning. There are still wards on the back door and windows. The survivors are shaken up but they think they may have seen stirges. They saw a silver creature go into the library but the only thing left in there are odd scorch marks on the floor.

Effin reveals the nobles opposed to Arbuckle; Lord and Lady Prydain (major nobles), Lady Ylaria, Lord and Lady Westhall and lord Fanzeller. We suggest to Lady Effin that she should send a message to her allies and suggest to them to come here tonight for their protection and as a show of strength. Its doubtful any of them will venture anywhere at this time of night so we take the opportunity to rest up. That is, everyone except Kanye. Kanye is still amped up and ready to rumble so he goes out to the market to pick up more loot for the team. He gets Triggg a masterworks club, a faeryfire scroll and glitterdust scroll. She wakes early to memorize the new scrolls.
Kira woos the kitchen staff…they share recipes.

The lords and ladies start arriving at the break of dawn. Hors d’ oeuvres are served before breakfast. During the night the servants washed our clothes and shined our weapons in the hopes we would fit in a little better amongst the nobility. It doesn’t work. Other than smelling better and Triggg’s fabulous hair, we still look a bunch of delinquent scoundrels…but in a good way. We are seated at designated spots around a huge table. Lady Effin gives a toast to the missing Wellucks and explains our presence. Kira explains Arbuckle’s dastardly deeds. She says ominously that he is a cleric of Belsameth. We all take turns describing how Arbuckle is swindling the whole town. Finally after much discussion, both groups retreat to their corner. We decide what we want to do…make money, kill Arbuckle, stay alive. Upon getting together again the lords and ladies summarise their position and say “We are concerned about the Wellocks and want them back, 2nd we want to enhance the safety of our homes 3rd we want to give monetary support to you to bring Arbuckle down. Awesome! We are suddenly much more interested in getting involved and decide to help!

They give us 10000gp up front and promise 10000gp if we are successful in bringing back the Wellucks alive. They suggest using Scribe location to find them and think we should take over one of Arbuckle’s ships, (quietly). We also get 5000gp for any tidbit of information we might learn.
We go shopping and use the advance for armor for Masa, another set of manacles, a bunch of scrolls, masterworks flail, dagger etc.

In the evening we set out with Effin to enlist the help of a scryer. We are given an object which will allow us to see the Wellocks. Effin sends a female warrior-Blanche to go with us. We’re not sure what to make of Blanche and wonder if she is a sincere ally or simply a golden girl. We follow the Wellock compass. The arrow points towards the crappy docks and once we get there we find it’s pointing at our boat. The arrow even points to our dinghy attached to the side. Looking inside they appear empty until I cast fairy fire. Two bodies become visible. Kira tries to heal them but they are doorknob dead. It’s the Wellucks. We haul their invisible bodies back to Effin’s place. A few townies are wandering about. In the streets, an evil giggle precedes the return to visibility of the 2 bodies we are carrying. We see an imp sitting on a 2nd story ledge laughing at us. The Imp then casts fireworks. So much for being inconspicuous! We trap the imp. I cast a mist to cover our tracks. Quinn Blanche and I drag the bodies to the nearest temple. For some strange reason Kira slaps Kanye…something about timing and being impatient. We get to the temple of Enkili and ask for help. We make sure the imp is well secured. The temple people are shocked that we have a manacled imp in our possession and two dead bodies. With the help of the priests, we manage to get to Effin’s place unmolested.
Lady Effin is saddened by the death of the Wellucks (no 10000gp extra for us). We suggest a resurrection spell. Blanche’s lord Pridain shows up worried about who knows what and who saw what and who knows why and who know him. He’s a bit of a worrier. He agrees to hire a cleric to do a resurrection spell. We wait for the cleric.

Its all about the disguises
That Arbuckle's a swine

June 1st, 2017
Present this day of DM high Seas featuring Chris B
Kira the Witch (Bob)
Sven Trenchdigger- Chris F
Masahiro the human Fighter (John L)
Quinn half-elf Cleric , chaotic good (Glen)
Kanye the giant Halfling (Ryan)
Ishmael the half-orc Ranger (John M)
Triggg the gnome Wizard (Jo-Anne)

ARGH! It appears that the imp is in cahoots with Arbuckle and he brought a black box with him. We examine the box and decide to take it out on the dingy away from the ship to open it. Good call! A silver creature demon appears, then disappears off the dingy and kills the imp. Nice.

We pilfer through the imps bag and find some cool stuff; string of autohelm (auto pilot), 5 stirge bombs, 1 stinking cloud, 1 stinking mist. We put these items into the ships common items. Sven, who was poisoned by the stirges is healed by Quinn.

We sail on to Eterin to drop off our cargo of ale. Sailing beside us are two ships belonging to Arbuckle. Still towing the tainted dinghy, we get to port and deliver the ale. In disguise, Masa and Katt hold a fake argument on the dock as a distraction while two others from our crew switch dinghies with Arbuckle.
We leave in the middle of the night to go back to Fang’s falls for our 200gps. Once there we find Mara again as we are looking for information about Arbuckle. We are getting the sneaking suspicion that Arbuckle is stabbing us in the back. Mara tells us he wants to become a Lord and is a candidate in the upcoming election. Leaving her we go find the Lady Effin who is at home. We tell her we think Arbuckle is involved. She tells us Arbuckle’s luck seems to be growing just like his wealth. Katt goes back to the docks and finds out other ships have been having tainting problems as well.

We maintain our disguises because it seems to be the safest way to move around town. We still need to get paid for delivering the ale. We decide to befriend the clerics that Arbuckle has hired (cleric of Enkili-trickster, male/female). Kira disguises herself as one of them.

There are eight well-protected ships sporting the Arbuckle colors moored at port. Each ship has many armored soldiers aboard. Katt and Kira, in disguise approach the nearest ship in the hopes of being hired on as cleric de-tainters. The leader approaches Katt and Kira and demands to know who they are. Their good intentions fall flat and they are firmly escorted off the boat. We message them to meet us in an alley a few blocks away. On our way to rendezvous, we spot some clerics walking together towards Arbuckle’s manor. I cast a dire rat to split them up so we can act like heroes and protect them. We manage to isolate the cleric bitten by the dire rat while trying to keep the other 3 away from him. Katt tries to bluff trip one, Ish tries to scare off another, and I cast ventriloquism so that they think Marcus (the injured cleric with Kira) is in the opposite direction from the one he has gone. Always seeking opportunity, Katt picks the pocket of one of the clerics while him and his buddies run away. Kira ingratiates herself to Marcus and convinces him to take protection with her at the Dark alley Orc house. We all meet up there. Katt’s stolen booty is a potion of levitate (10gp,). Triggg goes into the room with Marcus and Kira and together they try to work some information out of Marcus. Marcus says he is a cleric of Bellsmith and admits he is working for Arbuckle. Kira say she would like to work for Arbuckle too. Marcus admits they use the black boxes to project the demon silver men. They keep the demons in a temple and they can project them into the boats and use imps to take over the boxes. The boxes are used to take over boats and captain’s brains and stuff. Arbuckle is the big cheese of it all. Marcus admits that this is the way Arbuckle has been taking possession of the ships and he uses the clerics to gain influence and power. All the clerics are from Bellsmith and they benefit too because then their god gets power via Arbuckle who is a powerful cleric and can charm and summon demons. Arbuckle has commandeered 30 ships so far. The black boxes, we learn can be used over and over. With all this new information we get Kira and go to the lady Effin.

Shedding light on that bastard Arbuckle
Slaying Silverman

Attendees: DMHC (of course), Jake Duke Punshon (Katt), Chris Lord Fowlie (Sven), Glen Earl Sweetman (Quinn), and John Tzar Lenz (your humble scribe) (Masahiro).
Location: The Baron’s Barn

- Aboard the mighty Feena in the trailer-trash section of Fangsfall harbour, we ponder our next move. Kira still had her new bff Marcus, the cleric of Belsameth disguised as a cleric of Enkili, with us onboard from last meeting as we hatched our scheme (outside of his earshot, of course). We knew that we had to tell the world about the sheister Captain Arbuckle and his scam of “detainting” or purchasing Fangsfall’s tainted ships at firesale prices, but we weren’t sure how we lowlies could get that message out. After all, why would this metropolis’ mucky-mucks believe a wee band of beer and mushroom-peddling seadogs like us over one of the vaunted aristocracy that was Arbuckle. Hmmm… Here’s what we knew to this point:

- Arbuckle was a secret cleric of the shitty god Belsemeth, evil trickster and stirrer of sewage, and he was in cahoots with the silver demons. Contrary to what we had previously figured, there were only 3 of those Sterling silver outsiders from the abyss, each with different magical powers, one of which seems to be possessing ship captains. We discovered that they seem so much more ubiquitous because they can project themselves to anywhere where their little teleport boxes exist. These boxes, in fact, were the sources of the so-called “taint” that had afflicted so many ships as of late, secretly stowed away onto ships by Devil imps who are able to fly in and out to invisibly deposit their cargo. We had caught one of these imps onboard the Feena a few meetings back and used the manacles of cooperation to get it to spill the beans that Arbuckle was masterminding this whole ruse as a way to build his own armada. Well, we take this knowledge one step further now by finding out from Marcus that although the silver demons can project themselves to these boxes on various boats, it is only a much-weakened version of themselves that shows up; their full powers can only be used in person, and those 3 persons are currently holed up in Arbuckle’s basement. We contemplate breaking in and taking them on directly before giving our heads a good shake – we’re 3rd level characters not Charlie’s frickin’ Angels!

- Well, when in doubt, go to your own hoity-toits to see if they can lubricate our efforts a bit. We throw on some disguises (the equivalent of cowboy hats, fake moustasches, and French accents) and waltz up to the abode of our good friend Lady Effin and tell her all we know. She is courteous but somewhat skeptical of our Arbuckle slander. Just when we are about to ask her to go with us to the Guildhouse to bolster our story to the assorted captains who hang out therein, she receives word that her two good friends and supporters in court, Lord and Lady Weoloc, have just been reported missing from their home. We smell a rat that smells like Arbuckle. Arbuckle rat smell!! F’in’ Lady Effin Fs off to go check out that story, leaving us to our own devices. Dammit! Okay, Plan B.

- We put a manacled Marcus onto a stretcher and politely ask him to pretend he is a wounded mute and start hoofing it to the Merchant’s Guild, where we plan to compel him to tell the captains all of what Arbuckle and the Belsemethians are up to. We figure they’ll be rightly pissed to find out that they’ve been duped by this whole taint thing. We put Masahiro in front as a thug, followed by Katt and Quinn (the 2 clerics of Enkili) hefting the litter, with our swashbuckling goblin hair-berdasher Sven skulking at the rear as we start to make the long walk across town. Katt, using her Katt-like senses, soon hears the sounds of stealthy pursuit through the foggy streets, so we duck into the next alley we see and prepare to spring a trap. Unfortunately, we become the surprisees as a half-dozen beagle-sized mosquitos suddenly dive to attack. We bob, we weave, we stab, they suck, we unstick their suckers, they suck some more. But what really sucks is that a silver demon appears standing beside a box that wasn’t there before and casts an enthrall spell that stops Sven and Masa cold. It then casts a spell on Marcus, and his whole litter starts to get sucked into the ground. The two clerics fight valiantly but can’t prevent Marcus from simply disappearing into the earth, taking our beloved manacles with him, which really sucks. We swat the last mosquito, but the Silver surfer is gone, though not before a cocky imp releases its invisibility just long enough to wave us farewell. All is quiet. The clerics are looking anemic. Marcus is gone. Time for Plan C.

- We decide to just rely on our own persuasiveness to besmirch Capt. Arbuckle’s good name. First, with Marcus back in the enemy’s hands, there’s no need to try to remain subtle about our having returned to town, so we cash in our chit for the Beer-run mission we accomplished last week and collect our 2Gs of pay. Next, we start talking to captains at the guild, doing a really crappy job of diplomatizing – you know you’re in trouble when your fighter with a charisma score of 7 and an accent so thick you could spread it on toast is heading up your diplomacy efforts. We are generally mocked and ignored by the popular captains (think Valley girl high school clique), though one captain (probably the social equivalent of the punter on said high school’s football team) decides that he’ll give us a chance to prove our words. Capt Bevno of the Black Slipper invites us onboard his ship to see if we can find this mysterious box that we claim is the source of the “taint”. Quinn uses his detect magic and keen perception to find a box camouflaged aboard the Black Slipper. We bring it back to the guild, where the popular captains still refuse to be impressed. But pride is a prickly pear, and Masa gives their fruits a squeeze, “Okay, eef dis boxsuh isuh nossing speciaru, den open eet up light here-u.” Faced with a challenge like that, one of the captains takes the bait and opens the box. 16 seconds later, shit gets real! Silver demon projection enters the room in the midst of some very-shocked captains and some very-feeling-exonerated adventurers! The ensuing battle is memorable for many reasons, but a few big ones come to mind: Silverman learns that casting spells in the middle of 7 opponents provokes a LOT of attacks of opportunity! Sven puts his rapier into juuuuust the right spot 2 turns in a row; Quinn actually trips the Mr. Silver during an A.O.O., causing it to lose its spell that turn, and finishes the encounter off with a confirmed natch 20 unarmed attack on the prone metaloid, which gets interpreted as a big elbow off the top rope. In the silence that follows, we’re pretty sure we got our message across.

WE ARE THIRD LEVEL Tales by Triggg (I claim artistic licence on erroneous facts)
We now have some killer stuff

April 19, 17

Present this day of DM high Ceas featuring Chris B
Kira the Witch (Bob)
Masahiro the human Fighter (John L)
Quinn half-elf Cleric , chaotic good (Glen)
Kanye the giant Halfling (Ryan)
Ishmael the half-orc Ranger (John M)
Triggg the gnome Wizard (Jo-Anne)

“We are strong. We are powerful. We are 3rd level !“(said with a Darth Vaderish voice)
Flush with cash, pockets bulging, we go shopping. Kira and Masa want to sell their gems scavenged from the cave on mushroom isle. Kira gets 270gp for hers and Masa get 550. Kanye is beaming. He only lost 20gp this time in his foiled bluff. What we really want is a way to control an air elemental to power the magic on the Fina. The wand we need is worth 3000gp.

We go back to the guild club to find another job to finance our wannabe wand. As usual the clientele are well healed. After an unsuccessful foray into the gathering we find a guest of the guild who wants us to transport mined titan fang for him to Shelzar from Fang’s Falls. There are many alarm bells ringing while we negotiate with this fellow. One is the money isn’t good enough. Two, handling the titan fang might be detrimental to our health. Three, there is a risk of pirate encounters on the high seas…wait a minute that a plus. Three, the money just isn’t good enough. We politely decline. A waitress comes by and leads us to the 2nd floor where she explains, there are better paying jobs to be found. Kira glamour’s up… “It never hurts to look ones best “ she explains. We are approached almost immediately. Mara (the woman who wanted the blue mushrooms) has given us a glowing reference. The reference and Kira’s look obviously makes us an attractive bunch. If only Ishmael would stop picking his nose! A noblewoman flanked by two men states to us “we have a problem with silver pirates taking too many cargo ships. Military ships as well! We will pay 15000gp for the capture of one of pirate ship. “ We are quick to consider the offer because of the additional power the wand could give us to attempt such a feat. We negotiate a 5000gp deposit. She readily agrees but in return requires, at the very least, information about the silver pirates within 2 weeks. The noblewoman just happens to have a purse of 5000gp on her which she gives to us. In response to our query, the woman mentions that only one military ship has tried to capture the silver pirates so far, unsuccessfully. Before leaving the guild club we find another job which will make our trip even more profitable and interesting. We decide to transport casks of ale for 2000gp. PARTY!

Back at the market, along with the purchase of the air elemental wand, Kanye picks up 510gp of poison for his darts: scorpion giant, wasp green and blood oil. Kira, Masa and I spend 300gp each for scrolls and alchemical stuff. My scrolls are shield and mists. I copy them down and memorize them back at the ship. Back at the ship, we stow our new gear, learn our spells, poison our darts, shine and sharpen our weapons, meditate and sleep.

Morning comes and we set sail hoping for an encounter with silver pirates. Our destination is the island of …to drop off the ale. Our first day out we try our new wand. We cast a water elemental onto the bilge pump/propulsion device. We lurch forward adding a 100yards/round of distance to our journey. Captain Fatty barely maintains control of the Fina as she jumps forward. Then for fun we cast an air elemental which sends us to beam reach at 15knots/hour.

Later, Kira keeping watch in the crows nest yells down that she sees a swarm of 8 giant stirges flying towards us. Everyone armours up and Quinn gives us a welcome +1 to AC. Kira and I cast mage armour upon ourselves just in case. The insects attack. Kanye shoots and misses. Masa shoots and kills one. I burn one with acid. Quinn casts a wind wall on the deck of the Fina which is good for 18 seconds. Kira shoots and misses. The insects hit the wind wall and are propelled up 40ft out of mischief for 6 seconds. Masa kills another bug. I kill the one I injured (#3) with my club. Captain Fatty does a dumbass sailing manoeuvre and Kira falls out of the crows nest but spell casts her way gently back to the deck. The ship continues veering hard to starboard (right). Kira, on her way down, catches a glimpse of something scary in the back of the boat and yells out a warning. I kill another bug with my club of apprentice. Kanye injures another with his short-bow. Masa misses. Quinn and Ishmael runs towards the scariness at the back. The insects spot their movement and attack them. The sturges latch on to their juicy prey. Ishmael, freaking out, hits himself but manages to kills one (5). Kira casts a web on the stern and notices that the captain is bleeding. I re-injure a stirge while Kanye trip on the bug corpse and watches helplessly as his weapon slips from his grasp and flies overboard. Masa kills the injured bug (6). The two bloodsucking stirges are sucking fast and furious on the lifeblood of Ish and Quinn. Quinn casts lightning strike against the bug on him (7). Ishmael is panicking so badly he hits himself with a double critical and can barely stand. I kill the last stirge. At this point things get kinda fuzzy and I truly feel like I’m not present.

Something is struggling under Kira’s web. Quinn the cleric heals Ishmael and he immediately runs over to kill the invisible form struggling beneath the web. Ishmael’s attack forces a giant spider to appear from beneath the web. The spider lounges for Ish and bites him. Kira uses another healing spell and stops Capt Fatty from bleeding to death. Kanye’s bow starts to sing and the spider loses its glamour. A small winged devil called an imp appears. The imp throws up his hands and shouts “ok you got me”. You bet we do as we slip the manacles of cooperation on it. Quinn heals the imp enough to keep it alive for questioning.

Returning to Fangsfall
Probing the Kira

Attendees: DMHC (of course), Prince John Matic, Jake Duke Punshon, Joba the Marquis de Marcoux, Ryan Big Chief Hooy, and John Tzar Lenz (your humble scribe).

- 74 NM to Fangsfall and closing is where we pick up the action. There be good sailing winds out there, and even the pug-nosed, bow-heavy, junkyard dog Kira is making good way under the semi-competent eye of “Captain” Codbiter. Attentions turn to figuring out what those two other magical auras are that Triggg noticed at the end of last meeting. First, in the bilge, she manages to figure out that the semi-spherical apparatus connected to tubes venting out the back of the boat is a propulsion device once a water elemental is summoned into it – think Seadoo. Very interesting, indeed! We’re all looking forward to when Triggg and Katt develop their magical prowess enough to be able to summon such elementals (as well as the air elementals needed to work the magical mast ring we found earlier). Unfortunately, the wee gnome is unable to determine the nature of the magical aura at the bow that glows from beneath the ships hodge-podge of scrapyard cladding.
- What to do with this heavy chunk of ugly that is the Kira? The conversation reels and jigs, arguments posting and being reposted to, opinions passing between all crew members like a sneeze at a nursery school. Katt argues to just beach the whale and rip its magical bits off in private; the rest of us lean towards dry-docking the hulking slag and surgically harvesting her jewels. The majority rules and we sail ‘er toward Fangsfall. “Captain” Ishmael decides that he wants to have ogre strength to go along with his actually being an ogre and chucks back the last of our red mushrooms; +4 Strength ensues, and he’s feeling bad to the bone. Until we hit land, at least, and then this new brawn in gone, along with that of Sven and the levitating abilities of Kanye the Giant and Katt. D’oh!
- We start flashing Guild credential badges like we’re FBI and take the last dry dock hold for the high-assed Kira. Immediately, Triggg’s and Masa’s engineering chops are put to the test, and they are not found wanting; the bilge propulsion device is stripped and transferred to the Fina toute de suite. The rusty pastiche that is the front cladding falls next to the engineering talents of the gnomo and the homo (sapien), revealing an inserted magical strip that runs the length of the stem, from bowsprit to keel. The magical nature defies Triggg’s efforts until we run to town and drop seven-fiddy on a Wand of Identify, after which it spills its guts faster than the Duke at a Dock-in weekend. It turns out that this magical insert can absorb a fly or levitation spell to make the boat rise up in the water (though not out of the water) to cut a light swath through the seas, allowing nimble travel and exceptional making of way. Looks like we are going to have to purchase a few more wands!
- Okay, but how to transfer this strip to the Fina is the next question on our minds. We consider a butchering job of cut and paste but decide that it would leave the Kira unsailable and likely unsellable, so we instead use our Guild connections once again to hire the best shipwright we can find. This turns out to be a withered, weathered, gap-toothed salty ol’ sea dog named Drake, a man who likes his drinking vessels as much as his sailing ones. We somewhat-naively offer him the Kira in exchange for a proper job of transferring this magical stem piece in tact from the Kira to the Fina, and he is more than a little pleased with this deal, especially once he gets a look at her amazing hull construction. Turns out the Kira is a princess beneath her shabby rags, a piece of shipbuilding wonder that leaves Drake in complete awe. Oh well, we may not have gotten maximum value out of this rig, but we’re trying to build some social equity here in the harbour, and we feel that having a happy shipwright in our corner will pay dividends in the future, especially since we seem to be a bit hard on ships. He gets to work with his crew, and it’s the labour of a few days.
- Meanwhile, we decide it’s time to get paid. We get found by our employer, Mara, and get led to the wealthy end of town to a back entrance into the keep of the town’s head honcho, Lord Killian Vrail, the military dictator of Fangsfall. There in palatial accomodations, we find Mara, who is mightily impressed with the speed with which we have fulfilled our contract. She pays us a 500gp bonus on top of the promised 2 Gs for our 5 blue mushrooms (which have powers of granting eternal youth, we have heard). We ask Mara about the red and yellow schrooms, and she says that she’s heard their effects only work until their imbibers touch land (at this point, it’s uncertain whether the abilities are permanently gone or whether they will return once we get back out to sea). With pockets bulging and our merchant rep soaring, we head back to the docks to continue our surgery.
- Next, we decide that our ghost-rider prisoner might have some more important info to divulge if we can figure out how to communicate with him. We had asked Mara for the rental of a spellcaster who could cast a Tongues spell for us, and the next morning, Triggg gets touched just the right way and starts speaking with the prig in the brig. Turns out he’s not such a bad guy. He’s a member of a fleet of sailors from across the Blood Sea (myth that there ARE no people beyond the Blood Sea: Busted) who have come here seeking their peoples’ treasures which were cast all about the world during the Titan Wars. They seem to be a people who keep to themselves, and our man appears to be but a lackey in that society, subject to the commands of the sorcerers of his people. He said that the other ghost-riders had ripped out some magical navigational device from the Kira, a device which allows them to track down their treasures. He mentions that they have a village down southward down the coast a ways and that he’d like to get back to them. He says that several of their ships have been captured by the Silver people, who have the ability to control weather. The Silver people then seem to re-gift these ships to those lizard folks that we have met before to sail. News that the Kira has the “Taint” of prior Silver people’s presence prompts us to look into our Rolladex to find Captain Arbuckle, the dude to whom we sold the Loosey during our last visit to port, in order to get his team of clerics to give the Kira a proper once-overing with holy Pinesol and SOS pads. He opens with a price point of 1000gp, but after much hard, expert bartering, economic salvos raining back and forth between the camps like broadside artillery fire between 3-masted warships, we end up settling on a price of 1000gp. Katt had supposedly almost worked him down to 980 when Kanye the Giant insisted that Arbuckle also throw in 16 titties and an extra round of Alize. The price bumped back up to a cool thou. We feel good about that price.
- The clerics do their work and don’t seem to notice too much of the specialness of the magical devices on board – we breathe reliefedly. We semi-promise our prisoner that after we’re ready to sail, we’ll drop him south of town on the coast with a bottle of water and a sandwich so that he can walk back to his people, putting in a good word about our crew to his superiors if they think to track us down. What’s that feeling of sudden competence stirring deep inside? Oh! I think we’ve just gone up a level!!

Cabin week

Shenanigans abound for a cabin adventure.

Further Adventures

Ryan, Jake and John with Buhler as DM. We continue to go up the side of a mountain, and not get too injured. Then found a cave with6 bat creatures; managed to take them out. Our cleric was out, so we managed to use a heal potion to save her. Also need to search the room


played with Buhler, Jo-anne, Punshon and Lenz with myself. Finished climbing up the mountain, killed some bat creatures. Then, while still climbing the mountain, and encountered 2 cat creatures with human faces. Managed to kill them, then entered the cave. Found more treasure, and then found a crack. Entered, and found a bunch of rats (one bit me). Managed to kill them (6 all together); it is now about 4pm. We are likely to rest for the night.

Light it up
Blue Mushroom Isle

June 29th, 2016
We find ourselves at the Merchants guild as members. Ishmael as acting captain is a full member and we are associate members. Me, Masa and Ish are present. The others are spending 24 hours in the drunk tank recovering from an all-nighter.

We want to sell our slightly used, battle hardened lovely but silver tainted 60’ cog. Captain Ariant offers us 3500gp for the Lucy. Additionally we want to hire out the Fina as a transport vessel for cargo. We meet a rich guy who wants to see the Lucy. Rich guy Clarence Arbuckle interestingly enough knew our old Captain Dag. He is very curious to know how he passed away and we are finally forced to say he died in battle. He looks at the ship with an experienced eye. He asks if the Silvers have been aboard. Ish tries to intimidate but eventually we admit that we did have a silver pirate aboard. After checking the boat out for Captain Arbuckle, his underling says the boats is satisfactory but he is not sure if they can get rid of the taint. We show him where the silver pirate melted on board. The rich guy’s associate does some spell to check the taint. Arbuckle offers 4000gp. We decide to walk away from his offer for now.

We go to harbor front taverns. Suddenly an older grey haired woman is walking beside us. She looks good for her age despite how she is dressed. “A coin for your fortune” she says loudly! Softly she says “I have a job for you” Ish softly makes a deal to meet her later then violently pushes her away like the half-orc brute he is. At the appointed time, we meet her at the Laughing fish. An ugly half orc named Jarr is selling fish at the door quite successfully. His salesman’s pitch is more physical than verbal. The paddle he’s holding menacingly is quite an effective technique. Ish speaks his language and gets right folksy and disgusting. He knows he’s from the same county. Jarr totally recommends this tavern to Ishmael. We enter the bar and find it to be a vile and nasty place. Ish offers 1gp for our 3 drinks, which results in our getting the best table in the house-5 layers of grime rather than 10. The bar is full of half-orcs. The woman mysteriously appears. She seems sincere but desperate. She wants us to go to a remote southern island to pick something up. There will be cliffs and bad things in the way but the reward is big. She wants some of the blue mushrooms that grow on a cliff. The cliff, made by a titan’s sword now grows this colorful fungus. She offers to pay 400gp/mushroom. We ask for 400gp up front and she agrees. She gives us a sack of gems worth 650gp. Ish takes the gems. Mara (the mysterious woman) says she will find us upon our return. She leaves after giving us a map and warns us to not eat, smell or lick the mushrooms. Ish eats the slop not fit for humanoid consumption served at the Laughing Fish, then we go out to find a buyer for the Lucy.

We check out the harbormaster looking to find more information about who or where to go to sell our old cog. A dwarf at the desk recommends the Twilight Tavern. We go there. It’s a dealers place…lots of nooks, lots of charm, nice place. A band is rocking the stage. We are promptly seated and we inform the host that we have a boat for sale.
We recognize Clarence Arbuckle and his compadres. The captains all seem to like to wear Asian style jackets with long sleaves. The look is distinctive but makes them look like waiters. The waitress recommends we talk to Captain Clarence Arbuckle and Captain Arnold about selling the ship. We bypass Captain Arbuckle for obvious reasons and go over to Captain Arnold.

Captain Arnold is a real sleaze bag rich guy, drunk with his own power. Two beautiful women surround the captain. Alas why do women abase themselves in this manner? We offer the ship to him for 5000gp. He falls for the false flattery I send his way and says he will look at it in the morning. The following morning the well-dressed captain arrives with 2 different women on his arm and a guy with a clipboard. Captain Arnold offers us 4000 gp but then Ishmael intimidates him and he ups his offer to 4500gp. Hurrah for us!

We sail! On to Blue mushroom isle.
On the Ariant is Ishmael, Masa Hiro, Trigg, Billy (girl) Sven, Katt, Jennifug and Captain Vic.

We have smooth sailing and make pretty good time until day 6 where we run into something big enough to put a hole in the bottom of the ship. We take on water but thankfully we successfully fix and plug the hole with a combination of hard labor and spells. On day 8 we see another ship on the horizon. Being curious and greedy types we get in closer looking for potential booty. We end up boarding a tattered ship which is in quarantine and potentially full of sick and diseased dead or dying individuals. We get the hell off the boat but not before Ona puts a quarantine flag on the mast. We see the partially obscured name of Lor on the side of the ship.

By day 10 we arrive but we must wait until the winds drops to investigate further. Night falls before the winds abate. When the sun comes up we travel around the island. We see trees and small flying things (long and skinny). I make out something blue 2/3 of the way up the island. There appears to be other mushrooms growing on the island as well. We secure the boat and then start climbing.

Not far into our ascent, we are met by an aggressive trio of bat people who attack us despite all our attempts to be conciliatory. I strike out with my club. Katt hits with an icicle. Masa takes a hit. Ona tries to intimidate and shakes up the leader. The bastards push a bunch of rocks unto us. Ona and I are in the line of bouncing boulders! Masa Hiro- 17th generation champion fighter kills the leader and then the other two fly away in alarm. Presumably they will return with reinforcements. Next time we’ll be ready! Grrrrrrr!


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